In My Element: A Resonance with Autumn

Sweater Weather 2026, watercolor on Arches Rough 140lb 100% cotton paper, 9 in. × 12 in.

If each season carries with it its own frequency, then autumn is the season that best matches mine. Summer, though appealing at first with its high energy, quickly wears me down, and I’m completely over it by mid-July. In contrast, the soft quality of light and shorter autumn days, feel like a fully charged battery for my soul.

It’s not just the changing leaves, the pumpkin spice or the anticipation of magical celebrations ahead. All of these things I adore, especially Halloween, which I see as the gateway to the festive part of the season. I’ve always revered this time of year, but it’s much deeper now that I’m in the autumn of my life.

In transition.

If we observe the wheel of the year as it correlates to our own seasons of life, then autumn would be midlife. I could happily go on and on about my spring (childhood), but I can’t say the same about the bulk of my summer (adolescence and early adulthood). From about the age of thirteen through to my early-forties, life felt like an emotional roller coaster of harebrained adventures and seriously bad choices. I can look back at it all now and laugh a little, but yikes! It wasn’t miserable. Not at all, but I had to learn some brutal lessons in life and in love.

C’est la vie!

Now that I’ve stepped through the portal to the beginning of my crone years, there’s a sense of finally catching up to the woman I always wanted to be. It started in December 2025. It was like a flip of a switch; I just woke up one day and felt different. I wouldn’t call it confidence exactly, but rather self-assurance. I’m not where I want to be in life, but I’m who I want to be. And I believe the who will get me to the where. Going about life not knowing who you are, makes it very difficult to get to where you are going. If that makes any sense. I feel more grounded and settled in my body than I ever have, and I don’t put up with what I used to, which feels very empowering.

Fleurette in her element.

This chapter feels a bit like being a tween again: somewhere between the ages of nine and twelve, when it was all about friendship and hobbies, but with the difference of having life experience on one’s side. There’s continued personal growth and so much more to learn, of course, but there's no pressure to perform it.

I like to say, in jest, that I’m in my invisible era. The word invisible can have a negative connotation when it comes to being a woman of a certain age, but I see it in a more positive light. I spent a great deal of time in my youth feeling misunderstood, insecure and desperately wanting to be seen. But now that I feel comfortable in my own skin, there’s no need to seek out validation or approval. And for the first time in decades, I feel free.

Life will continue to ebb and flow, but the autumnal frequency brings with it a sense of wisdom and a quiet, inner strength that equips one for careful, more intentional navigation. Somehow I’ve always known that my crone years would feel like home.

It feels safe here.

‘Tis the season of ghosts and magic!